Frustrations Galore!

Friends,
Do you remember that seen in The Princess Bride when Inigo Montoya is trying to persuade Miracle Max to help him by bringing Wesley back from the (mostly) dead? He starts by lying to Max with a disingenuous sob story about the Man in Black's family and why they need him so badly. When that doesn't work, he leans forward and with a fire in his eyes tells Max the real reason- he wants to humiliate the Prince. "Humiliations galore!" he promises. Max and he are united on their hatred of said prince, so the Miracle man agrees. Hi-diddle-lick-dell-danish!

That was a very long intro to merely explain my feeling this morning:
"Frustrations Galore!" (said in a Spanish accent)

I keep waiting for peace to settle into my life. Resolution, solid ground, a sense of feeling at home in my body, in my place, in my work. Where is this promised peace?

Even with this album of mine monasticFolkspeak, there is no peace. I had a very hard time deciding how to sell this music. Let's go even farther back: I had a very hard time deciding to even record these songs at all. My husband, forever pushing me toward good ideas, made this happen. I was very content to share these little creations with our church family and have it stop right there. But the hub's vision contained a much wider circle. He drew an arc so wide, I'm afraid the world could fit into it. That's how much he believes in this music. It is staggering, really.

I, on the other hand, think that maybe there is a niche group out there with enough interest in the Anglican Book of Common Prayer to care about these songs at all. My confidence is perhaps lacking.

The whole process of writing, recording, gathering musicians to collaborate, recording some more, editing, recording again, mastering - all of it was excruciating to me. No peace in it. Then I had to decide the genre, where and how to sell these songs, how much to invest upfront (after already having invested a lot in the process), how accessible the album should be, etc. Even at this point, after the whole process is pretty much finished (unless of course, I decide to make hard copies of the album), I can feel my blood sugar rise when I start to enter the mess of it again.

But I have to enter the mess of it again as I've realized that some of you have tried to buy the album and had some troubles. Bandcamp is a great platform for independent artists that can't hire the legal aid you'd need to sell your music on iTunes. BUT there seem to be some glitches, too. I've emailed the technical support there and am waiting on a reply. Maybe I should just go old school and sell CD's, ditching the digital album game.

Either way, I will write again when I have further clarity (peace?) about how or where you can buy the album. Thanks for your support!